>>1 It’s very evocative and there’s nothing wrong with poetry that doesn’t adhere to metre, though i do think you might enjoy looking into it. It’s a very satisfying tool to have under one’s belt with regards to directing flow, and there’s a lot of structural depth to be accessed when breaking or disregarding it fully becomes a deliberate choice rather than blunt unawareness. For example these two lines “we are frozen between your fear and my guilt./I have already forgotten that wings were for flying.” pop out to me because they are almost anapestic tetrametre which gives it a wistful, sing-songy quality. Anyway, good job. Might have a look at some of your other work.
It’s very evocative and there’s nothing wrong with poetry that doesn’t adhere to metre, though i do think you might enjoy looking into it. It’s a very satisfying tool to have under one’s belt with regards to directing flow, and there’s a lot of structural depth to be accessed when breaking or disregarding it fully becomes a deliberate choice rather than blunt unawareness. For example these two lines “we are frozen between your fear and my guilt./I have already forgotten that wings were for flying.” pop out to me because they are almost anapestic tetrametre which gives it a wistful, sing-songy quality. Anyway, good job. Might have a look at some of your other work.